


Young Love Book II

by StormyBear30



Series: Young Love [2]
Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-09
Updated: 2012-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-29 07:03:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/317038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30





	Young Love Book II

As expected Jared refused to leave me alone after his grand announcement of his love for me. My phone rang constantly and no matter how much I tried to avoid him, he always seemed to be around. I assured Tim repeatedly that I was only in love with him and that I wanted nothing more then friendship with Jared, and most days I wasn't even sure if I wanted that. He also told me that he believed me and yet his eyes, those wonderful and beautiful eyes, always told me something completely different. We pretended like everything was ok, but slowly but surely our wonderful and loving relationship began to unravel. I was so pissed off at Jared for causing such problems and yet at the same time I was upset with Tim for not trusting me enough to let Jared come between us. Six weeks after Jared told me he loved me, Tim and I split up. I tried to keep it together, but Tim just seemed to pull further and further away from me with each day that passed. The arguing and accusations started right after that and despite the fact that I felt I understood why he was so jealous, I just couldn't handle it.

I was absolutely miserable after Tim and I split up, but at the same time I was also hurt and very angry. I missed Tim in the worst way possible and with each day that passed my anger and upset with Jared grew ten fold. I wanted to go to him so bad and confront him about what he had said, alerting him to the avalanche of hell he had started as well, but I held back. I knew that going to confront Jared was going to be a huge mistake and so I stayed clear. The problem was that Jared felt the opposite and just showed up at my door one night and everything in my life changed in an instant.

I knew it was a bad idea to let him in, knew it was an even worse idea to listen to what he had to say, but I did it anyway. He wasn't in the room twenty minutes before I was lying on my back on the couch, he lying on top of me. I knew I should have pushed him away, knew that his tongue in my mouth, his hands roving my body was wrong, but damn if I didn't stop him. Jared kissed like a man full of experience and being his friend for as long as I had, I knew just how experienced he was. When Tim kissed me, it always sweet and innocent, full of exploration and first time love and as amazing as those kisses were, Jared's had me hard and ready to do things to him that I would have never fathomed doing to Tim.

We fucked long and hard, both of us sweaty and exhausted once we were done. Jared expressed his love for me over and over again as he tried to work me up once again, but I pushed him away. Tears littered my eyes, my stomach ready to lurch at the realization that I had just cheated on the man that I still loved. "What have I done?" I spoke into the nothingness of the room as I sat on the side of the couch, head in my hands as tears poured down my face. "Oh my god…what have I done?" I repeated, my heart breaking and shattering into a million tiny pieces.

"It's for the best Brent" I heard Jared reply behind me. I cried even harder at the hand on my shoulder, not even giving Jared's remark a reply. "Fuck…" I heard Jared exclaim as he shifted beside me. "You really do fucking love him don't you?"

I didn't answer him as I got up and rushed into the bathroom. My skin was near raw as I tried to scrub off the scent and the feel of Jared's body on my own, but no matter how much I scrubbed, I couldn't erase it from my mind and my heart. I didn't know, or care if Jared was still in the house as I exited the bathroom, putting on a pair of silk pajama bottoms before sliding under the covers of my bed. I cried myself to sleep, knowing that no matter what I did, nothing was ever going to be the same between Tim and me again.

Days passed and the guilt was eating me alive little by little. I hadn't heard from Jared since that night and I was glad for it because I knew that the friendship that once meant the most to me was over. There was no way that the two of us could go back to being just friends after knowing his feelings for me and everything that had happened. I mourned the loss of that friendship, but I mourned the loss of the love that my sweet Tim held for me even more. I basically fell into a depression after that. I didn't care about work, or my life even as I hide from everyone and cursed myself repeatedly for allowing my life to get so fucked up. I had pretty much given up on everything, until one night I got an unexpected visitor.

I never expected to see Tim again and the moment that I opened the door and found him standing before me, I lost it. I fell to my knees sobbing so hard that I couldn't even catch my breath. He didn't say anything for the longest time as he helped me off of the floor and led me into the living room. I watched as he walked away from me as I sat on the couch, trying to figure out why he was there and what the hell I was going to say to him to make sure that he never left again. I knew I had to tell him that truth and yet as I looked into his eyes, I already knew that he knew. "He told you" I chocked out, the words tasting horrible as they flew over my lips. "When?"

"The day it happened" I wanted to murder Jared in that very moment in time because despite the fact that he had realized my love for Tim was real, he still made a point of ruining any shred of hope that we might have had.

"I'm so sorry Tim" I tried to speak, but he cut me off.

"He came to me and told me what happened and I was angry and hurt…hell I was just flat out devastated" He began as I hid my face within my hands and cried yet again. "I couldn't believe that after everything that we shared that you could even contemplate being with another man. I couldn't believe that after everything Jared said and did before we split up, that you'd even consider sleeping with him" I remained silent because I knew he was right and no matter what he said or how the evening ended, I deserved everything that he served to me. "I realized today that I had to right to be upset with you because it's my entire fault that this happened in the first place"

"What?" I cried out in shock, looking up and finding Tim standing on the other side of the room with tears blazing down his face. "No Tim…no" I said through my tears, my heart breaking at the look of utter devastation on my face. "None of this is your fault. I did this. I am the one that should take the blame…not you" I meant those words as I got up and walked over towards him. "I never meant to hurt you Tim…never" I said, stepping back as he looked as if he were ready to bolt out of the room. "I'm just so sorry that any of this ever happened"

"I got scared and pushed you away. It's my fault that you slept with him" Words that ripped at my already shredded heart. "Fuck…" His voice echoed around the room as he walked away, running his hands through his dark hair. "I pushed you right into his arms. I never wanted things to end between us and I knew you were telling me the truth when you told me that you didn't want to be with him…but my insecurities got in the way and I panicked"

"Tim…" I hollered after him, striding across the room. "This is not your fault. I fucked up. I didn't prove to you enough that I loved you and when the opportunity struck…" I left the sentence open because we both knew what I had done. "Tim…baby…I'm so sorry" He was crying so hard that it broke my heart as I threw caution to the wind and pulled him into my arms He didn't hesitate as he wrapped his arms around my neck and hide his face within my neck.

We stood in near silence; the two of us clinging to each other, soft sobs the only noise around us. "Take me back Brent" I heard him whisper against my skin, my heart beating so fast within my chest that I knew I was going to have a heart attack if I didn't sit down and quick. I didn't say anything as I fell onto a nearby chair, my eyes locked on the floor as I tried to process his words. "Please just take me back baby" He fell to his knees in front of me, lying his hands upon my knees as I looked upon his tearful face.

"I can't…" The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them and as much as I wanted to shove them back down my throat, I knew that I couldn't because they were the honest truth. My heart completely decimated within my chest at the look of absolute devastation I found looking back at me. "I'm sorry…but I just can't" I said again, getting up and leaving the room and then my home in order to get as far away from Tim as I could. I drove for hours, tears bleeding down my face as I replayed the look of Tim's face over and over again in my head. It was a look that killed my soul and my spirit a bit more each time that I saw it, but at the same time I knew that I had done the right thing.

The fact of that matter was that no matter how much I wanted to hated Jared and the words that had started this entire fucked up mess, I knew that he was right. After everything that had happened I knew that ending things with Tim was the right thing to do. He was young and inexperienced in many ways and being with me would in a way hinder his growth. I hated the idea of him being with another man, maybe even falling in love with another woman, but I knew he needed to be given the chance to try. The fact of the matter was that I had pretty much achieved my goals in life. I was rich and successful and my business was growing everyday. I had seen the world several times and experienced things that had made me into the man that I am today, but Tim hadn't had that opportunity yet. He was just starting out and I knew that I had to give him the chance to spread his wings and fly. I knew that I would never get over the loss of his love, but as dead as my heart was, I couldn't help but smile and be excited for what life held ahead of the man I knew that I would always love.

The End…


End file.
